Or back on the catwalk:

Anyone else notice the flower logo on the back walk or did the laughing presenter put you off!

Comments welcomed on when you last got back in the race having been knocked down….

87iyxs3kpr

Can you guess why? Make your guess here in comments….

It would appear that all over the UK and other parts of Northern Europe there is a strange phenomena occurring known as prolonged sunshine and hot weather. This leads to strange reactions in many people. Some who normally crave sunshine begin to moan about how hot it is. Many people develop red ‘bibs’ due to sunburn in the area around the neck of their shirt/T-shirt and many London taxi drivers swap their normal greeting of ‘where to guv?’ to ‘hot enough for you mate?’

The main result of this type of phenomena is that supermarkets suddenly sell out of any food suitable for grilling (sausages, chicken wings, burgers, etc) and small bread products for encasing the aforementioned grilled food. Yep, it’s BBQ season.

In many households the following scene is played out

Routine…

(1) The woman buys the food.

(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.

(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.

Here comes the important part:

(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine…

(6) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.

(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat

Important again:

(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine…

(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.

(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:

(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ‘her night off ‘, and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there’s just no pleasing some women.

(13) Next day everyone is ill due to eating undercooked food.

Careful if you are a nudist though, it can be painful. Here’s a more typical BBQ scene for  Pattaya, Thailand, Its not easy getting into that suit I can tell you.

Anyone a fan of BBQ’s and have any good tips or recipes?

Right I’m off to the pool in a bit as everyday is a hot day in Thailand!

Nepalese authorities have come up with a novel way to try and fight rampant corruption at Nepal’s main international airport. According to a report by the BBC they are issuing their bribe-taking staff with pocket-less pants.

That should stop ‘em cold!

After all there couldn’t possibly be any other places that they could hide money could there?

So how corruptible do you think we are as a general race of humans?

Have you ever found money and just put it in your pocket without any attempt to find the owner? Umm I have. That’s a little bit corrupt.

Or have you ever been given too much change by a sleep-deprived grocery store clerk and not bothered to tell? Oh God I am blushing now! That’s slightly more corrupt.

Have you ever given better service to a customer based on well they tip? You bet I have. Oh dear, there’s no hope for me. I am totally corrupt.

I guess I’ll just go and sew up all my pockets!

Okay your turn? How corrupt are you? I want all the gory details.

]]> http://gosmelltheflowers.com/archives/10290/feed http://gosmelltheflowers.com/archives/10285 http://gosmelltheflowers.com/archives/10285#comments Thu, 02 Jul 2009 08:44:37 +0000 Jim http://gosmelltheflowers.com/?p=10285 Ever read or advertised in the personal ads section of a newspaper of online?

How honest are they, I wonder:

Thansk to Paul in Doo-bye for sending them in.

Comments welcomed, sense of humour essential - others need not apply!

The term ‘Michael Jackson’s will’ won’t re-kindle terms relating to mental strength (wibble) but rather the legacy, estate and music rights he has left behind. ‘Where there is a will - there is family’ as the great estate debate goes on.

Do you have a will and does it include any strange requests for the day you come to be surrounded by flowers. Do let me know here in comments even if you didn’t know the deceased. Cheers….

I find I sleep better on a booze free body and as cask ale isn’t readily available here there is far less temptation.

I do miss THINGS THAT  ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN  DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3.  Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT  ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN  DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2.  Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive  disorder
4. Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT  ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY  WHEN DRUNK:
1. No thanks, I’m engaged.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3.  Sorry, but you’re not really my  type.
4.  No thanks, I’m not hungry.
5.  Good evening, officer. Isn’t it lovely out  tonight?
6. Oh, I couldn’t!  No one wants to  hear me sing karaoke.
7. I’m not interested in  fighting you.
8. Thank you, but I won’t make any  attempt to dance, I have no coordination.  I’d hate  to look like a fool!
9. Where is the nearest  bathroom?  I refuse to pee in this parking lot or  on the side of the road.
10. I must be going home  now, as I have to work in the  morning

The joy of booze - feel free to share your ‘fors and against’ of alcohol’ and difficult to say words in comments. Share them here as the garden needs watering and please comment moderately!

Flash back to  July 17th, 2007 1,500 plus CPDRC inmates of the Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center, Cebu, Philippines practicing their thriller routine:

Some 25 million you tube hits later this video is doing the rounds on the back of recent news.

Did watching the video make you feel any differently about the fact that they’re all prisioners? Do tell, moonwalk optional….

Anyway’s, that’s not what this post is about, or maybe it is?

I got an email ‘newsletter’ from Mumsnet the other day - one of their articles was about yesteryears childhood - they’d obviously invited readers to send in their reminisces …. and what a response they’d had.

Two main themes stuck out (the bulk of replies concerning childhood in the 70’s) - the imagined (or otherwise) freedom we’d had as kids back then and how very much simpler life was. E.G - friends birthday parties were a smashing tea with sandwiches, cake and jelly in the back garden - no costly trips to cinemas, theme parks or chattery sleep-overs.

It certainly bought back one or two happy memories for me - particularly I remembered Space Hoppers (absolutely hours of fun) and jelly’s in those flimsy rectangular frilly edged paper trays at parties. If you were lucky, there was a bit of tinned fruit set in the bottom (but that was usually reserved for Christmas).

Corn stubble fights in the fields after the combine harvester had been past and playing in the heaps of straw thrown out the back - at least a couple of days play before the farmer came along and bailed it up - then we could make camps with the bales!

What’s you happiest childhood memory? Would that same pleasure still exist in todays ‘modern hi-tech world’ - would you have got ‘hung up’ on a particular brand of clothing or trainer back then?

I guess everyone has now heard the news that Michael Jackson has died. As I write this I am still listening to CNN who have not yet confirmed it to be true. This post will go up (sadly) once they confirm that it is true.

At fifty, he was still very much an enigma to most. He had financial troubles, legal battles, had to suffer through accusations that led people to judge him no matter what the legal outcomes decided. All of which does not change the fact that he was one of the world’s most recognisable musical performers, and love him or hate him, he did have a global impact that has spanned generations. He was an easy target, given some of his idiosyncrasies, for ridicule and slurs. Yet he seemed to endure, in many cases with greater success than his detractors.

I have Thriller, like probably billions of others around the world, and have danced more than a few times to his music, sang along to it as I drove my car and had some fun times with friends whilst Michael gave it his all in the background. So in a sense he has had an effect on my life, not such that I am shedding tears, but that my heart can realise a talent has been lost.

Just about to make a comeback tour, (and I know my super-fan niece will be devastated as she had tickets), I guess now it will just be a huge media blitz of homage that will elevate him to Saint Michael status. A saint he was not, and no angels were the press either. I hope many remember the battering he took at the hands of the press when everyone wanted to believe the worst of him.

So before all the platitudes begin I’d just like to put in my tuppence worth and say - thanks for the music Michael - you shared your gift with the world and that’s all any of us can ever hope to achieve in life.

Rest in peace.

Comment kindly all.