What a miserable bunch you are. No wonder Urban Pagan has been spending more time at ESS. The only increase in readership of GSTF is from members of EXIT.
Incidentally i looked at their website for reference and saw this comment -
‘PLEASE NOTE WE ARE FLOODED WITH ENQUIRIES AND VERY SHORT ON STAFF AND RESOURCES - PLEASE EXPECT DELAYS OF UP TO SEVERAL WEEKS.
So if you want to top yourself in a hurry, read GSTF
Every time i dip into the GSTF blog, there’s ‘celebration’ of another death or ‘memories’ of a loved one who passed away - once you’re dead that’s it, Gone, deseased, demised, gone to meet your maker you’re an ex- person. Have your memories yes, but they are yours and no-one else’s, Who cares if it amused you the way uncle Arthur bounced you on his knees then polished the Brasso off.
Where’s the fun in the blog that was here a year ago? Life is for living and not spending it being a morbid, colonic irrigating, wheatgrass drinking hypochondriac - although i’m writing from my sickbed! The best new-age theraphy is fun and laughter. It’s beyond me why that category has been omitted from the blog.
So back to the post. Here’s something that was sent to me today covering a subject that has been discussed before - i make no apology for dragging up the subject again but it made me laugh and feel better for a while.
http://www.peeniewallie.com/2007/06/dr_turlingtons.html
Man flu eh Angry? Killer.
Hoorah for the cheer! It is getting a bit melancholy round here.
Here’s what made me laugh today.
http://www.27bslash6.com/overdue.html
Right, now I’m off to watch Schindlers List.
Man flu? Pah!
let’s just say Mrs AEP is away and i’m on antibiotics
I’m doing the role-reversal at the moment………but that’s another post
Not sure what happened to my last comment, is it because I put Schindlers List in it?
Anyway, here’s what made me laugh today.
http://www.27bslash6.com/overdue.html
LOL Lib! too funny…. spider, hahahaha
Welcome back angry…
Its been 2 long.
Nam.
I understand what you mean, but to me this is a little insensitive to Arvind’s post regarding the anniversary of his father’s passing.
CC
Why?
Because Arvind’s post is about the memories and his process of grieving the loss of his father a year ago and it felt to me that your post was saying that you are tired of that type of stuff. With the things going on in my life, I am a bit sensitive. I also think that I am anticipating that my post, which will be quite personal, next week may be attacked. I guess that is the risk that I am taking. Sorry.
CC
Why apologise for a post that you feel you need to write? We’ll have to change your name from CC to NN - Nervous Nora. I look forward to your post next week
As for Arvind’s father, a sad loss it was - for him and his family.
Not necessarily for the hundreds of visitors who visit this site. Note ‘hundreds’ - i think the thousands that once graced this blog are now standing with a rope round their neck waiting for someone to kick the chair away. They’ve been ‘inspired’ by the recent content of GSTF
More like Paranoid Paula.
I understand where you are coming from now. Thank you!!
Yes, it is EXTREMELY insensitive to his post. He is very much part of this community and this is a community of bloggers, this is not a topical publication. We would love to know about the personal side of your life.
To the point of losing readership, the numbers actually do not support that view. We need to be a blog about something than nothing which is what it was earlier: a watercooler for the few. Sure a few light posts are always welcome and a 60:40 ratio between serious and light is what we need. That said, there is no reason why our ON TOPIC posts can’t have a light hearted style.
I guess it’s a fine balance and some good editorial guidance is required to get the mix right.
RYK
No more insensitive than internet flower companies that send reminder anniversary emails to buy flowers, one-year-on after you’ve purchased flowers to comfort a grieving relative.
My personal life will stay just that, unless i choose to give details in this public blog
Are you assuming that ‘hits’ are readers. Of course because the blog was launched to 500,000 email addresses there will be a percentage of ‘interested parties’. My money is on them looking and not staying too long - unless it lightens up considerably
Fine balance - yes
PS Arvind seems to be the only one who hasn’t taken offence - credit to him
love the RYK dictatorship
could be the reason why this is currently plodding along. well done RYK
who died and gave you the sargents stripes?
Mr ryk sir, I do believ that you either stepping up the controversy for blog readership count
or are a man of little consequence
I think it is probably the latter
Or maybe the former
but really gentlemen in my home town were and are just that
gentle MEN
So come RYK - figures?
Are the increased numbers returning regularly, contributing comments and generally participating in GSTF?
You’re a businessman and i’m sure familiar with mailshots and that the typical response can be 1-10% depending upon the target audience.
So of course visitor numbers to GSTF will be increased following the ‘launch’ - you can add to that natural growth
I think angry means the general feel of flowers and not in relation to Arvinds post??
No offence taken Jim!
Angry has his own way of looking at life which may be different from mine - and I can only respect his viewpoint and where he is coming from.
I too am up for celebrating the lives and memories of deceased loved ones and everyone has different ways of grieving and healing.
So lets leave it at that
I only hope that Angry sticks around this time and makes the garden more fun and humourous. Come on Angry, we need you!
I actually saw the very same clip this morning sent by a friend and it is the funniest thing I have seen for a long time and had me in stitches!
I have seen some tattoos on people which have not aged well and this video clip is just so spot on.
Arvind,
I’m glad you have a balanced view of life, and unlike others, you don’t become hysterical when there is a post or comment that you disagree with or find distasteful and insensitive. I respect that
The blog is becoming a half-empty glass, of day old beer rather than a half-full glass of fine wine. What happened to the (nonsense) that GSTF is here to inspire others and to smell the flowers. If it achieves anything, the blog should raise a smile rather than draw a tear. It was a mistake to change the format and the content. What we have now is a group of ‘Private James Frazer’s’……. ”we’re doomed, all doomed”
Angry
Thanks for your words of respect - I suspect being respected by you takes quite a while, so I am honoured
As I have said before, live and let others live.
There is so much conflict and disagreement in the world because of people wanting to “control” others. Everyone is entitled to their opinions and let them be.
But I do miss the “handbag fighting” on Flowers.
Come back soon Urban!
PS Get well soon Angry - you were told to keep away from ESS
Angry,
First of all, I was not HYSTERICAL!! I simply raised the question of insensitivity being concerned about Arvind or anyone else who might want to post about a death which can be inspirational in itself either because of the person or because of how people deal with it.
Yes, tears are necessary and one can tear because of many reasons. Often out of pain and adversity comes inspiration. So, there are tears of pain along with inspiration. It is all part of life and my view is GSTF is about life and how to smell the flowers despite what is happening or going on in the world. But, in order to explain that I would need to express the “negative” side before I get to the “inspired” or uplifting side. But, like in life you can always find an uplifting side, but the pain is still there. In order to really feel uplifted, inspired or the “good” feelings, one must feel the “painful” or “negative” side of life. If you suppress feeling one, you suppress everything and it ends up coming out in some way…that is usually hurtful to others.
I don’t want GSTF to become “unreal” and only cheerful. Like life a garden and flowers have seasons. I liked GSTF initial because it was about real life, a little of everything. To leave out the “negative” would be unreal. I believe that you can turn any post into an inspirational one no matter the content, but to me GSTF is also about educating people about the areas that are not talked about generally like mental illness. Writing about areas that are risky, unfamiliar, uncomfortable and important.
Yes, GSTF went through a time of being a bit “negative,” but I think that was a reflection of what was going on in the world and in people’s lives. To me that is just as important as the inspirational, fun, “alternative” side of things…it is all life. If we are a garden then, it includes the whole life cycle including death and illness.
CC
Clueless
I agree - a balance and stated this last year and this. My opinion and possibly of others is that it has gone the opposite way to cheerful.
It seems that gone are that days when you’d log in to GSTF and take 10 minutes that would bring a smile to your face
I like that there are all different types of posts. Life isn’t all about smiles. Sometimes, we have to think and sometimes there is anger and sadness. Holidays bring out intense emotions of every type.
Sneaky Jim
must you always sit on the fence?
have you no real opinion?
@ Barabara - why the SNAEAKY Jim? Me no follow? My opinion is that GSTF sholud inspire people on a daily basis - I’m trying to gauge where to draw the line with thony issues and where to let it all roll, that’s all….every garden has variety but what content compels people to fire up the laptop and contribute to the thread here everyday?
Oi angry whats any wheatgrass ever done to you?
GDay Angry
Your post living up to your name… lol….
What the heck is ESS????
Death can be funny, you’ll see shortly…
Whats wrong with a little Death realisation?
Its the one thing we can be sure about, there is something strangely comforting in that regards…
Besides Its also the one thing people dont talk about, to afraid it will happen to them one day but guess what it will…..
Its a bit like sex, it happens to everyone eventually….
So there you go..
Wasnt that positive and uplifting..
My best clip ………
This is possibly the most poetic song in history………
My Anthem….
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=1loyjm4SOa0
Yes, WHAT is ESS?!
AC
Nothing wrong with death, and like me pulling any bird i want, it’s a ‘dead cert’. It the rest of the founders living in a goth-like state, it drags everyone around them down.
Nothing wrong with death realisation but let’s not dwell upon it, reflect upon it - it’s personal and i’m sure that there’s many who visit the blog who don’t give a toss about someone’s loss.
I think death is getting a bad rap here. Here is what he has to say in his defence:
HERE IS A SMALL FACT
You are going to die.
I am in all truthfulness attempting to be cheerful about this whole topic, though most people find themselves hindered in believing me, no matter my protestations. Please, trust me. I most definitely can be cheerful. I can be amiable. Agreeable. Affable. And that’s only the As. Just don’t ask me to be nice. Nice has nothing to do with me.
Worm fodder all round.
Yes, Angry death is certain and neither is life after death.
Even less certain is you pulling any bird you want - what proof can you offer us?
And what are your secrets? Can you or any said pulled birds offer us any empirical evidence.
Please do share how one can reach this enlightened state of being able to pull any bird
Angry - perhaps you can write a guest post about this?!
NO Arvind dont ask him for proof he will bring out the photo album, or his little black book or something… arghhhhh!!!!
AEP
I do agree that it does tend to bring the whole party to a roaring stop when someone yell DEATH anyone here SEEN DEATH!
But it I agree it does get a bad wrap….
And I agree with you also that it is personal and many dont give a toss..
I do tend to think though it is a mysterious thing to many, many more are afraid of it and that is because it is spoken about so little in our society.
Which is because we dont like to talk about.
Actually when think about it the word is almost seen a swear word, bad language…
and hidden away in the cupboard under the blankets so no one sees…
To do this though is to a dis service to everyone, if we hid Death away then we also hid life away, to spend you life in fear of death is to forget to live….
Celebrate the life… before we enter the death…
But if you really think its should be a taboo topic we can have a vote……
Hands up all those in favour of banning DEATH from Flowers!!!!!!!!
What like if we carry the vote on that none of us ever die?
I vote for that Mike!
Euston steam and sauna of course!
Yes of course!
This “fabled” ESS is actually just a couple of miles from my London home.
Maybe it is high time I visited it and dragged Urban out for a while
Or could that be the last you will see of me too?!
Well in Mr Port.
I was chastised heavily for broaching the subject of everything needing to lead to therapy, have some sort of warning label needed or leading to long term health disorders, and the general melancholy mood here. Raised it with Mr Wheatgrass but was told I simply needed to scoop the pain away and spread positive mantra onto my star chart or something.
King’s birthday tomorrow so I’ve got a nice long weekend. Chang/Stella therapy tonight, beach tomorrow, big beaming smile right now.
You’ve been subjected to ’scooping the pain away’ as well!
How we sniggered Fish style, when he scooted back off to Dubai after a mutual friend complained of neck stiffness. ……’Just scoop it out’ Mr Carrot Juice exclaimed.
Scooping does have it’s merits - as does wheatgrass.
Proof please.
Myself and ‘Stephen Hawking’ have tried it a number of times and SH’s golf is still rubbish
Jim
How do you describe “scooping away the pain?” Explanation please?
CC
Scooping is a term used in reiki when you scoop the nergy away…
Cupping your hands over the affected are and then throwing the excess energy away out of an open window - I kid you not!
Is that the same as going to the bathroom in the middle of the night when the hangover is kicking in and you can’t be bothered getting a glass so you cup your hands under the tap to get a drink?
No? Ok then.
Tee! Hee!
Who said that GSTF wasn’t funny anymore?
Jim,
This is bad, but the only image that I have of this is my husband telling me about his older brother scooping his flatulace and throwing it at him…and apparently it works. Guys are really like this, huh?
CC
Jim,
To me that is also called denial to some degree; however, the symbolic gesture is important.
CC
‘Throwing his flatulance’
I know some funny fart comments but that has to take the air biscuit.
Brilliant CC.
Death and grief has a mixture of feeling and a process. Stages being denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. All are important and it isn’t linear. It is also a part of life and existentially the meaning that you have with death determines how you live. I vote for not eliminating death from flowers because then it really isn’t an open alternative community if we ban certain subjects. Flowers die and become sick, it is part of their life cycle. I don’t want to have to question whether what I want to write is “appropriate” or not.
CC
All the posts here capture the essence of flowers - thorns n all!
Oh No! A post on cheering up and what do we get, Mr’s and Mrs Morbid discussing death
Lets re-name some of the founders
Always Blue
Melancholy Morgan
Clinically Depressed
Unlucky 13
Suicidal thoughts
Gloomygirl012003
Unhappy Zack
Last but not least HappyfromEllesmerePort
Thoughts for any more uplifting name changes?
OUCH!!!
Angry,
OUCH is right!!! For starters, I do have a major depressive disorder/clinical depression. To make a jab or light of it is hurtful to me. Don’t judge me unless you have walked in my shoes. Yet, having depression and a whole lot of other issues, I believe, I manage to turn out inspirational posts that are also balanced with the realness of life. But, they are inspirational.
I really do not like the feeling of being personally attacked for something that I did not cause and that I am actively seeking treatment for. I am angry that you singled out one characteristic to define who I am and that you used a very sensitive and painful area of mine to make your point. You have caused more pain than you will ever imagine.
I am sorry that you have not dealt with the issues that you keep attacking for if you had dealt with them you would not have attacked so vehemently and perhaps would not be as angry. We often attack that which we do not like in ourselves. I write this with caution as I am not judging or evaluating you. I am just trying to point out what people often do including myself.
CC
NN
1. I know that you have clinical depression - so did this guy but while he was alive he seemed to enjoy life
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrIl31ZY1HU&feature=related
2. Don’t flatter yourself that i’ve singled you out as writing melancholy (to use someone else’s words) posts - there are others
3. I fail to see the personal attack - ‘for something i did not cause’? Perhaps it’s your perception or ‘feeling’
4. Thank you for the online diagnosis and identifying the issues that i apparently have which causes me to attack ’so vehemently’
5. I know someone called Wheat - he doesn’t grow it I know a guy called Miller -he doesn’t grind wheat, i write under the name of AEP - i’m not Angry
6. I would be disappointed if you tried to judge me as we’ve never met - likewise i’ve never tried to judge others on the blog. If someone appears online and is peddling half-baked ideas, theories or products then they should be challenged.
Finally can i refer you to the final sentence in the comment you made above two days ago - ”I don’t want to have to question whether what I want to write is “appropriate” or not.”
AEP,
First of all, please call me CC, ClinicallyClueless or Clueless.
1. I never said that I didn’t enjoy life. And, if you’ve read my posts and comments I enjoy my life, but there are very low points.
2. I know that I was not singled out, but I was speaking on my behalf only that your comments angered my and were hurtful.
3. Not my perception, you did attack me personally as you did others and have been doing.
4. I am sorry, for that comment; however, I was angry and it was out of line. I apologize.
5. I will refer to you as AEP as it is important to me that people be called what they want. However, I was going by what most people were calling you, so I followed their lead.
6. Agreed; however, I feel like you are judging me by your comments.
I do not understand what context you are using the last statement. The context of the statement was in reference to writing about death and illness.
CC
Clueless
Where is the personal attack?
You miss the point regarding the name - the association of a name with frame of mind
As for my last point. You feel that ‘I don’t want to have to question whether what I want to write is “appropriate” or not’ so why should anyone else including myself have concerns regarding posts or comments on any other subject matter eg clinical depression - and no i’m not singling you out!
AEP,
The personal attack comes in that in renaming others that you renamed me to something that is a sensitive and painful issue to me.
I actually don’t miss the point of the association of not calling you by a feeling that is “negative.” I just did not state it. However, I remain very aware of this.
I have taken it personally that my posts are not initially upbeat and raise serious issues, so in regard to your post. I took it personally when perhaps I should not have. I apologize.
On #3 on your comment, are you referring to what I just wrote or about “my not being at fault for my illness?” If it is the later, clinical depression is not the fault of the person; however, their responsibility is to obtain treatment which usually requires psychotherapy and medications and take care of the issues that have laid the foundation for the depression which is not the person’s fault.
CC
I agree AEP - it would appear you are trying to make things fun or light hearted and that won’t do.
surely someone has an illness/ loss/ cause we can all talk and get maudlin about.
perhaps someone has a new age cure which is nonsense which we can all high five about
people need to lighten up and realise that this is the internet- and it should be fun- if its not enjoyable people will stop visiting and stop posting- then it will just be a group of people agreeing with each other. if this is to become a ‘community’ compare it to your own community in the real world. some people you will like some you won’t- but you can’t avoid it its called LIFE.
RT
This is just like my real community - i’m so angry no one likes me
Yip Yip yip yip yip
Yap!!
I found god y’all!
thanks to sva of course for the wording of the first two lines of my little old coment here
which one am I
I didnt find one to fit…
however given that I am suffering a lovely bout of the flu and feel like $@#%^ it may be my lack of brain power…lol..
ouch…
A/C
Nothing came to mind immediately - MTH
Must try harder
At the moment mate othing come to my mind either must be the flu….
Clogging the gears at the mo…
looking on a positive side how about we create a celebrity dead pool- death is the end for absolutely all of us but lets have a positive from it.
pick a celeb who you think will die. whoever gets it right gets courtesy of gstf a wreath to send to the funeral from here.
I’ll pick first- Bob Mugabe
lol
I do find that idea stranely humourous…
hmmmm
the cynic in me shining through….
Well now real talk
i would just not be able to commnet on the death upsetting death of a celebrity
why it would just make me so upset
but who is that bob mugabe you mention?
and what films / chat shows / grammys has he won?
no one from my part of texas has heard of him
and i have emailed all of my friends back home
is he one those british or something
i do declare i would feel mightily aggrieved if should they win another of our awards this year
Always Blue…that’s a great new name for me.. guess the post on my grandfather is out for Monday eh?
Does you grandfather not read this blog dearest traylor?
He died a year ago on Monday.
Now thats just too bad my dear
he would have so much enjoyed joining in on this
could he type?
or did he have a secretary to do that for him?
Hi Angry! Nice to see you. Are you back or just dropping in to make things a bit “thorny?”
I must admit, as much as I love GSTF and the founders, it’s not the same as it was a while back. It’s not as addictive for me as it used to be and I really miss UP believe it or not!
As for something that made me smile today? Here’s a couple of young lads planning their weekend.
PS I couldn’t view your peeniewallie link
PSS I hope the youtube embed works otherwise, here’s the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVwYnPge8wQ
Try this link - halfway down the page
http://www.samtsai.com/p360/turlingtons-tattoo-removal-commercial-snl-with-jay-leno/
now that was funny!! cheers
I don’t really know you–this is the first post I have seen from you (I am new to Go! Smell the Flowers) but it seems to me that there is room on this blog for joyful posts, as well as ones that are dedicated to more serious issues, such as the passing of a loved one, going through difficulties, etc.
The posts on my own blog are often on difficult subjects–as I have had a difficult life but I believe they do speak to many people. Life has pain and heartache and it comforts people to know they are not alone in this cruel and beautiful world.
I wish the best to you and hope you can get into a good anger management program
Cheers!
Melinda
Excellent point Melinda. People just want to share the important moments in their lives on the community, happy or sad.
I’m English therefore do not need anger management programs, therapy etc
Thanks for your concern
Seems like you might be one that needs to lighten up. Sheesh!
I may not be the the best person to interpret others thoughts
but i do declare that i really did see the angry ones comment comment as very light hearted
why i would say
lighten up yourself melinda
for a bit of parity a bloke I know died last week.
I couldn’t stand him- he was 5 years older than me and was a first class idiot. Im glad he has gone and hope that he is surfing the sea of eternal hell fire.
he had no redeeming features at all.
the only plus from his death is I owed him money an his widow came round on the scrounge so I set the dogs on her. it was hilarious.
now that reminds me of the time my grandpappy died of lung cancer from chain smoking his pipes
how we all laughed!
Taylor blue posted about the loss of her Grandfather Barbara - you weren’t to know but it was a courageous thing she did here….
Frig a dig.
Mulled wine anyone?
I do agree it has to lighten up but I think that’s up to the founders to create a balance.
For example, if there has been a run on posts that are perceived to be a bit melancholy, then its up to us the founders to follow with something more ‘up beat’.
It can’t be any harder than that surely?
I agree…
Yes, and the guest writers…I know that I tried to put a lighter post up after the Mumbai thing. AC did as well. I also delayed one post because of it…it still isn’t posted.
But, it is also about the commenting which can take any turn. Often, they go in a direction that does not have to do with the post, but is good for the garden nonetheless.
Nail on the head CC.
I think everyone has to take the comments with a pinch of salt and remember that there really aren’t any personal attacks (they may seem like it but they really are not, its all about the perception) there are just challenging comments.
And surely that kind of comment is to be welcomed.
Oh Lib, stop contradicting the laws of nature by displaying womanly common sense (it’s not a personal attack)
I think that there have been personal attacks at GSTF, but not very often and usually several people point it out. For me, that was directly hurtful and unwelcomed; however, I know that others took light of it. I also think it has much to do with how things are worded. Here we don’t see the facial expression, hear tone of voice…anything and words, just by themselves, can be misinterpreted especially if you do not know someone.
Yeah whatever Angry.
Go gas yourself.
@CC–that’s actually a very good point and one that I am very much aware of, since I teach classes online. When you don’t have facial expressions, vocal intonations, even body language to help convey the meaning of your words, they can often be misconstrued–and as you said, particularly when you don’t know someone very well.
When I am teaching, I encourage my students to use emoticons, as well as other types of more creative symbols. For example, if you are being sarcastic, it is sometimes a good idea to write after, so people understand.
Also, I want to say this–and I really don’t care whose toes I step on here. I am a psychologist and to make light of anyone’s battle with depression, anxiety (or any other condition) is not a kind thing to do. Yes, I understand lightening up–but when you bruise the psyche, the healing often doesn’t come quickly.
Cheers everyone–I think I have gotten to know a few people’s personalities on here a bit more after this conversation today! I do wish everyone well and I promise I’ll hold off on the post of my goldfish’s untimely death.
Ah, my symbols disappeared, likely due to the html thingie.
I wrote
[/sarcastic] but used the html coding for it.
Melinda,
Thank you. You put into words what I could not formulate. It is time to stop blogging now.
CC
Having the name of Martin Lib - i may take offence at that last comment
AEP & Jim,
Having a mental illness, for me, unless the person knows me and I them, it is hurtful to make light or fun of my illness. Basically, no matter the intent, it is not a situation in which make light of. That is why it is personal because my feelings were/are hurt.
No, Jim it isn’t just a different point of view when light heartenedness touches something painful. If you had cancer, would it be okay for someone that you didn’t know to be light hearted about it online. Think about it…for most, it wouldn’t be, so it is true for mental illness. And, there is liability in renaming someone “Suicidal Thoughts.” I don’t know who that is, but when it comes to mental illness renaming people to reflect depressive and suicidal impressions is dangerous because you really don’t know how that person will react to that comment. Responsible blogging does not make light of a person’s illnesses no matter what they are unless it is in the proper context of the person themselves making the comment first.
So, I can call you Cancerous Jim now? How about Epileptic Emma, Jaudice Jonathan, Asthmatic Aussie, Bipolar Blue Goddress, etc. I am sorry if I offended anyone and I do not know people’s illnesses, so please don’t take it like I know what you have or anything at all. I am simply trying to illustrate my point. Mental illness has a stigma associated with it and comments like the one made today added to the pain. In Melinda’s words my “psyche was bruised.” Obviously, it was wounding and to me and in my opinion, in poor judgement to use someones illness as a point to make light or to attack.
So, it is a thorn that I can’t quite get all the way out…this one takes time. It doesn’t help that I am being seen as the “sensitive” one than can’t handle lightheartedness. I felt like some were just telling me to toughen up. Well, that is part of the illness. I felt very little support or understanding.
I can handle quite a bit and have, but this is a very tender area for me. And when I was working and more social, I listened to all the whispers and negative comments and these were from other social workers. I can also be quite tough skinned, but this area gets poked at enough where there isn’t much time to heal. Do you have any idea how many comments I have to delete because people are intentionally hurtful on my blog. For some reason, people think it is okay to attack someone with a mental illness, which is why most moderate or make their blog private.
So, try living a day in my shoes if you simply think that it is a point of view issue and not a thorn. To me and many other people, joking about mental illness is mean spirited. It makes me question what to share because I don’t need to experience this kind of pain again. I can go to my own blog and delete some comments.
CC
Jim,
A group hug does not soothe this type of pain!
CC
OK CC thanks for clariying this….all part of the process here as these veiwpoints come out….I understand that it’s not black n white!
Hey Jim, all,
Here’s a post that might help educate a little on the topic of mental illness. This one is specifically about PTSD - something that’s an issue for me personally. But my own situation is no where near as severe as what CC has to deal with.
Suggest those interested read this: http://michelletack.squarespace.com/blog/2008/12/10/baylor-study-finds-changed-brains-in-ptsd-victims.html?lastPage=true&postSubmitted=true
The point of my providing the link is this: if you know people in your community here, are dealing with issues like PTSD and other mental illnesses, then surely part of keeping the community healthy is making sure those people (like CC) are supported. Especially when people are unfairly and quite nastily targetting them.
PSTD is a really horrendous experience. Its not easily managed because its so slippery. And people continuing with their nastiness despite CC explaining her circumstances is pretty friggin evil. Malicious even.
So are group hugs -this is all part of the process and I appreciate the response from founders n guest writers alike with this key issue here as we capture our essence again in prep for going soical with the new buddypress software….
Great debate as the process continues…..
Is it a THORN per say or a different point of view? just wondered.
As i’m into re-branding at the moment I propose we do away with the names ‘Flowers’ and ‘Thorns’ and we label commentators ‘Luvvies’ and ‘Realists’
Good question. Right now, all I know is that my feelings were hurt and I feel misunderstood. I think maybe a little of both, but I could be wrong.
Maybe, this is a good time to post my “communication” post?
Wouldn’t want to Mis that
It was a well timed post that communication one CC….great stuff.
Thanks!
Well I gave up after about reply number 65….. or was it 64?
Seems some think GSTF’s is a bit like an episode of Eastenders (a british sitcom) - I don’t watch it personally (that’s a choice and being too busy) and would personally consider it a waste of good video tape (even the sort advertised by that skeleton).
What I have overheard is a lot of people shouting at each other and ever depressive story lines with the BBC voice over man at the end of every episode saying something ‘If you’ve been affected by the issues in tonights program, call this helpline’.
For goodness sake - its supposed to be light entertainment! Like this blog.
I worry that our young who all watch these ’soaps’ religiously will end up with a very warped view of the world - how to treat friends, when to show respect, when to be angry, when to keep quiet etc and they’ll be quite disappointed when life isn’t one medical / emergency disaster after another.
Oh i say I think I’ve also been describing GSTF’s at times and some of its more prolific commenters.
Life isn’t a soap despite what some may think. I think it might help us all and our new community if we remember that sometimes.
I feel an alternative medicine post coming on……
Jonathan.
In the interest of asking questions of a provacative nature…. (which i seriously doubt this lady being questioned will answer playmates)
Tell us Jonathan, is that hairspray you use to set your angular side parting, or mere styling gel of the hip-hop variety such as Brylcreem?
Well now, I do declare, I will not tolerate men with product in their hair in my house.
And I have tried.
Maybe GSTF is becoming online virtual reality?
Well said, O’ man of cheap seaside gifts
Jonathan,
So are you saying that you expect GSTF to be light entertainment? If so, what do you think about the direction that it is taking?
CC
Light entertainment is all it is Ms CC.
you may choose not to respond to any of my well intentioned comments to you on this blog, whish I see as a sign of weakness just like your brother Mr sva, but this Mr Angry is so right with his blog concerns in this very post.
and high time it is someone steered the depressive, suicidal, bad grammared professional writers of inconsequential no-interest away from a potentially interesting cyber slice of life.
I do declare that finally GSTF might be worth looking at again.
because trust me you all, it is very dull round here these last few days stroke weeks.
lest i offend anyone inadvertantly,
please do enjoy my recipe for cup cake sandwich
you will find it at:
suicidalalternativedrivelstrokepercolatorchatwithemphasisonthedriveldotcom
or perhaps you won’t.
liven up befor depression or mislead tattoo worship kills you - and don’t pretned you like them other readers, we all know you don’t
in common with the other 80% of interviewees who declared their preference to be as such
Why now i do belive that is possible too
I seriously don’t understand what all the fuzz and bother is about.
Those of us who contribute to flowers are real people (well I hope we are all real otherwise I have years of theropy in the making), with real life events, thoughts, feelings, views, experiences etc.
It is all of these experiences which bring flowers to life in the posts and in the comments.
the problem is not all of our life is sweetness and light, it is not always fluff and stuffing, it is trials, tribulations, celebrations, grief, sickness and health and everything which life brings to each of us.
The one thing flowers does is show how each of us deals with these events, how we react for the most part in a similar vein.
Example being Arvinds Dad post, we all felt for him and what he went through, a year on we all couldnt beleive how fast time had gone and could still feel the empathy and sympathy we did a year ago.
If Flowers was to become a Fluff and Tickle style of blog, a feel good, new age hippy, treehugging, group hugs, the world is wonderful, kissy kissy, preaching the joys of life and nothing bad ever happens much like the Brady Bunch I feel she will Loose so much we love about her.
Why not post about the Crap which happens to each of us, why not post about the death of a loved one, or otherwise, the joys of Morgan pending flower, the health benefits of raw food or alternative medicines…
Or just about life as it happens
there is something comforting in the realisation the Crap happens everywhere and no one is immune to it…
But the same goes that wonderful things happen as we grow mature, reach understandings we never thought possible..
Flowers a celebration of life, in all its shades…
Nicely put A/C….
Far be it for me to back slap and high five but hey…
((Back slap / high 5))
Thanks Jim
Jeepers people! Just come across this thread… a long ‘n’ loose one so it seems!!
Hey - I’ve got a favourite and possibly inappropriate kind-of-a-joke joke foe y’all:
Q. What’s the leading cause of death?
A. Birth…
Yep. Life happens and so does death. Everything in between is frequently tinged with people’s love of the former and fear of the latter. Whether that be denial, repression, anger, happiness or any other human emotion or experience…
I know I’ve been accused of being a little down-at-mouth by GIT in the past on this blog, but seriously I have the most slapstick sense of humour… Personally I haven’t found recent posts to be overly negative. I mean, shit happens! However, there’s been plenty of silliness and lightness going on too. Then, I wasn’t around a year ago to compare it to anything else…
I do wonder though, why anyone thinks everything should stay the same? Like, should this blog always be upbeat ‘like it was’? Or, can GSTF, like anything else… be subject to change? Yet, if you want upbeat, then why all the negativity and nastiness in the comments? That seems kind of… contradictory?
Life is about learning from both the good and the bad. Time is relative and if, for example, this blog was being consistently negative in each and every post (which its not) over a period of say, five years… then I might be concerned. But change over a twelve month period? Surely that’s kinda normal??
Something I’ve noticed on GSTF that bothers me is the need for some commenters here, to make every single comment of theirs a personal attack/cheap shot at whoever’s on hand. I mean, I’m not saying everyone has to agree or anything (although wouldn’t that be upbeat??) but seriously… how about a little bit of respect for differences instead of having to take people down all the time?
Can we vote on that too?
However… I’m kinda pissed that some people think its okay on here to poke fun at those with mental illnesses. Especially when you have no idea of that person’s specific circumstances. CC has been going through some pretty rough times of late (which, if you’ve read her blog, you might be aware of!).
Those who’ve never suffered a mental illness probably fail to realise how precarious the balance of feeling ‘okay’ can be… against a spiral into some incredible low. And some off-hand comment that you might not think twice about… could very well contribute to such a downward spiral.
These things aren’t always easy to pull out of either.
So, sure, this blog is a place where people give as good as they get. But how about a little friggin respect? Not just for those people dealing with mental instability. But for everyone.
Try people - to think twice before you feel the need to sling an uncalled for bit of nastiness into the comment field…
Group hugs indeed!
Well put, Svasti.
Where is the nastiness and who’s poking fun at mental illness?
Get a grip
AEP & Jim,
Having a mental illness, for me, unless the person knows me and I them, it is hurtful to make light or fun of my illness. Basically, no matter the intent, it is not a situation in which make light of. That is why it is personal because my feelings were/are hurt.
No, Jim it isn’t just a different point of view when light heartenedness touches something painful. If you had cancer, would it be okay for someone that you didn’t know to be light hearted about it online. Think about it…for most, it wouldn’t be, so it is true for mental illness. And, there is liability in renaming someone “Suicidal Thoughts.” I don’t know who that is, but when it comes to mental illness renaming people to reflect depressive and suicidal impressions is dangerous because you really don’t know how that person will react to that comment. Responsible blogging does not make light of a person’s illnesses no matter what they are unless it is in the proper context of the person themselves making the comment first.
So, I can call you Cancerous Jim now? How about Epileptic Emma, Jaudice Jonathan, Asthmatic Aussie, Bipolar Blue Goddress, etc. I am sorry if I offended anyone and I do not know people’s illnesses, so please don’t take it like I know what you have or anything at all. I am simply trying to illustrate my point. Mental illness has a stigma associated with it and comments like the one made today added to the pain. In Melinda’s words my “psyche was bruised.” Obviously, it was wounding and to me and in my opinion, in poor judgement to use someones illness as a point to make light or to attack.
So, it is a thorn that I can’t quite get all the way out…this one takes time. It doesn’t help that I am being seen as the “sensitive” one than can’t handle lightheartedness. I felt like some were just telling me to toughen up. Well, that is part of the illness. I felt very little support or understanding.
I can handle quite a bit and have, but this is a very tender area for me. And when I was working and more social, I listened to all the whispers and negative comments and these were from other social workers. I can also be quite tough skinned, but this area gets poked at enough where there isn’t much time to heal. Do you have any idea how many comments I have to delete because people are intentionally hurtful on my blog. For some reason, people think it is okay to attack someone with a mental illness, which is why most moderate or make their blog private.
So, try living a day in my shoes if you simply think that it is a point of view issue and not a thorn. To me and many other people, joking about mental illness is mean spirited. It makes me question what to share because I don’t need to experience this kind of pain again. I can go to my own blog and delete some comments.
Group hugs do not soothe this type of pain.
CC
AEP, suggest you get some reflection mate… and go read back over your words.
I’m taking on all these points above and appreciate the feedback…
I thought GSTF debates helped with the like of mental illnesses - that is the vision via inspiration….
Do I strictly moderate all posts n comments or let it roll?
Maybe that should be our next poll at GSTF????
PLEASE no moderation!
There is absolutely no need whatsoever and we might as well all send our comments via a 3rd person.
I’m not throwing my toys out but if that happens, I’m out of here.
Its frigging ridiculous.
Jim,
No poll and no moderation, but keep an eye out and intervene when it seems necessary. But, I think it is important that people say what they want. I like the diversity, but not the divisiveness. Please, no moderation. That is part of what makes this alternative. But, your intervention is necessary if things get out of hand…not that everyone listens to you.
The other part is usually we do a good job of “moderating” each other, but this time it seems not to be the case.
I think the other issue is defining what the content is because many seem to just want it to be light which in that case, to quote Lib, “I’m not throwing my toys out but if that happens, I’m out of here.” The sharing of all parts of life is part of what makes this community alternative. I can go to any humor site and get light, but I don’t get the mix of what I get here. That is what attracted me in the first place is that topics can be very serious, deep, makes you think deeply (for some who go there), to entertaining and down right silly.
Founders and guest writers also need to be aware of the tone of the posts and change accordingly. I know that I’ve change to a lighter or heavier post because of the mood of the previous posts.
For me, this post is still effecting me and I know it triggered my issues, so today I’ll be talking to my therapist about it. But, that is my problem; however, it could have been mitigated with some type of intervention. I don’t know the answer, but the out right personal attacks are not welcome and it can cause damage to someone else. However, there is a fine line between personal attacks and trying to put “someone in their place.”
Generally, I think the community as a whole does pretty good, but it seems that it has been becoming more difficult. In my case, I realize that mental illness is a new thing for most which is why I didn’t let it go besides it being good for me to speak up for myself. This is also the very reason that I chose the mental health related awareness days, so that there is some education available for those who wish to read and let it effect them. However, you can’t force that. Or any of the other issues I’ve addressed.
CC
Thanks for the feedback Svasti - ,aybe a poll is the answer as suggested below as the tone of GSTF is ironed out….
Hey Jim,
A poll aint really gonna solve the problem. I mean… either its okay to take people apart on this blog in a personal way… or its not.
Of course, everyone has a right to their opinion, but do we really need to hear the ones that are personal attacks in disguise (or not so disguised)?
svasti do you believe in free speech? a straight yes or no is all that is required as its a conceptual question.
Gee, “Real” Talk… wouldn’t that suit you? A straight yes or no? How convenient…
Sorry - I believe in free speech but not to the point of denigrating others. Basically you’re being a bit of a jerk.
I believe in free speech but not to the point of denigrating others. Basically you’re being a bit of a jerk
do you see the irony in that statement??
Um, yeah… I do. That’s kind of my point… its called irony. If you decided to be less rude towards everyone here, why then, there’d be no need for my comment, would there?
so you can insult people and its irony.
convenient that.
standards? make mine a double
So is the general consensus that GSTF needs to be a bit more uplifting?
Or do we have to take a vote/do a survey!
Hey Angry…
A bit of everything…
Me thnks..
Uplifting, reality, life, fun, and everything inbetween….
what you reckon..
perhaps time for some funnies
Are you serious!
How about this???
http://totallylookslike.files.wordpress.com/2008/08/dali-lama.jpg
Hey I met the guy on the right in Inida last month Zack…
Or was it the one of the left? LOL
hahaha
I wouldn’t mind a bit of moderation for instance when someone attacks someone else in your family when it isn’t called for….It really shouldn’t be an issue if people didn’t attack each other…what is the point of that anyways?
attacks someone in your family
if you don’t want people to comment when you share your life on the internet then perhaps the answer is not to share it
or are you one of those people who only listens to what you want to hear?
everyones opinion is valid- jst because you disagree with it doesn’t change this. perhaps instead of paying for your internet connection each month save the money and buy a pair of ear muffs so you don’t get offended everytime you encounter real life.
the fact that you are able to actually get upset when someone you have never met comments on you screams of insecurity on your part. why would you care?
I don’t post on here so someone can say my son is GAY! IT’s immature on your part to go around saying that…
how do you know he isn’t? what woud it matter if he was? be happy for him
That wasn’t the point of the post…
People need to stay on topic in commenting on posts
why?
half the beauty of the internet is that the individuals who comment have the capacity to take ech post in whatever direction they see fit.
otherwise yo are not making points and posts merely comments for affirmation which in my opinion leads to a sterile blog with zero actual discussion. and discussion not affirmation is the reason I visit here. you may visit or other reasons but I don’t. sorr. but one mans meat is anothers poison.
There’s nothing about your comments here that anyone would describe as containing beauty.
Mate, go take a long hard look in the house of mirrors…
in your opinion- which is in my eyes worthless
Real Talk,
The way in which you worded your comments to TB about her son seemed to directly attack her son. The post was not about that. You seemed not to address the question she raised. It was supposed to be an endearing post and your comment was inflammatory.
CC
Exactly…that wasn’t the point of the post…
Thanks CC…that’s what I meant to say
But being called GAY is not a slur surely?
I don’t know why anyone would think it is.
I wasn’t writing how he is gay (because if he was there isn’t anything wrong with that) so why would it even be brought up??
Real Talk,
The post was about a cute, age appropriate letter written by TB’s son. And, the focus of the question and comments were to be, “Do you have everything done and planned for the holidays?” I do not see how any of your comments about her son fit the above.
CC
in your opinion that was the post- in mine it wasn’t.
the fact TB and yourself are taking such offence would suggest you are both bigotted. shame really.
and I was unaware that comments on any post should coincide with other posters consensus. silly me.
Lib, being called gay is not a slur. Suggesting a young boy is gay based on someone’s judgement of the clothes he’s wearing in a photo - is.
Its picking fights for no good reason and its unacceptable.
Svasti
how do you know he isn’t gay?
(((GROUP HUG)))
Jim, I finally found the right word for all this… thanks to The Stung Eye - ad hominem
http://stungeye.com/post/view/179/the-ad-hominem-fallacy-fallacy
Svasti,
That is perfect!!!
CC
You know, I don’t understand why people want to be unkind at all. I know we are all different–and I know that all voices are valid. But being unking to another person is an abuse of freedom of speech–at least it is in my opinion. Sure, people have the *right* to say what they want–but how about trying to make another person’s day a little better, rather than a little harder.
I’m looking at these comments that keep flying back and I am baffled. The world is a mess. The economy sucks. There are wars, death, starvation, disease, and natural disasters that are devastating people’s lives every day.
Why not try to do what we all can to make the world a little better rather than a little worse? We all do impact the world–every single day. Whether we impact it negatively or positively is up to each of us.
This is my last comment on this subject–I really feel it would be good if we all moved on.
Right back at ya, Melinda, nicely put. Couldn’t of said it better myself.
Thanks Svasti–and a g’day to you, mate! (did that sound authentic?) LOL!
Haha, yep! Love it when Yankees try to do an Aussie accent. Such a crack up!!
HEHEHEHEHGE
ITs so sad isnt it… Svasti…
but then again so is us aussie trying a real southern drawl… it just doenst work… although my cockney isnt to bad, neither is my irish.. lol….
I’m positive when I’m drunk I do excellent Irish and Scottish accents! Oh and sure, my Yankee drawl is just perfect. Actually, I believe I do an excellent ‘valley girl’ impersonation. I blame all those crappy air head movies that we get sent from the States…
Maybe an accent corner here in the garden - srat off sober and take it from there!
FACT - Every 26 miles a new accent appears in the UK across the land….seriously - lots of variety.
Oh yes! Accent corner, what fun.
I wonder what it is in the US?
Well East Coast, West Coast, Southern drawl and a big bit in the middle, right? Or am I over simplifying US dialect?
We are all over the map. There are different dialects just within the Los Angeles area and I’m not talking about just different languages. It actually is quite complicated even with a state especially as one as large as California, even our Governor has his own dialect. LOL!!!!
Mr Port,
Just who in the hell do you think you are?
You go missing for months then just pop up with a 150 odd comment post.
Now I really feel depressed, worthless, ignored, uninspired and unworthy.
I’m off to throw a seven.
Everyone else,
Go! buy a Morrisey cd.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPYOf-P4Hlo
did you have to pick ‘heaven knows I’m miserable now?’ Gareth…..
Smile, at least!
Don’t give a toss about content - i’m like RYK a - numbers man
ContoversialfromEllsemerePort
Who’s da daddy
Next week ……Go! Get religion and paedophilia - a marriage made in heaven?
I’m aiming for 200+