Smell the formula for success!
September 7th, 2008 by Jim
‘I can’t give you the surefire formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure: try to please everybody all the time’
- Herbert Bayard Swope, first recipient of the Pulitzer prize
Comments welcomed, selfish or otherwise!
nothing wrong with aiming high!
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according to a street market geneologist, the crouch family motto was “Either succeed or do not attempt”. Not quite ‘the world is not enough (bond family motto)’ but close enough i feel.
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I agree with trying to please others all the time is a sure way to fail. I have an extremely difficult time with this, but I am getting better. However, I have learned that if you do try to please the right people you can get quite far, but eventually you fail because it can never be all the time.
I love the Michael Jordan clip. I’ve seen it before and today was the first time that it did not inspire me. I guess, it inspired me in another way. It helped to formulate another description of depression. Part of what depression feels like is that you are a failure and you are not worth the effort to try again, besides there is no more energy left to get up. It becomes about surviving day to day (or moment to moment) and not about success or failure. You already know that you are.
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I know what you mean. Being a people pleaser only made people dislike me and made me feel like a total failure when I did inevitably fail. No one can do everything for everyone all the time.
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Yes, and it slowly makes its move not only toward self-hatred, but also toward resentment toward other people. Toxic stuff not to be yourself. Yes, no one can please anyone all of the time, not even your own self!
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Reminds me of that phrase - the meek shall inherit the world - as long as it is all right with the rest of you.
Being a people pleaser makes people question your value.
If say YES all the time, just what is your YES worth!?
Good to be selfish at times - in a positive way of course.
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Arvid, you make some good points that had me thinking. Especially with the Bible verse that you referred to “The meek shall inherit the Earth,” Matthew 5:5. Often people use this verse to use justify people staying in abusive relationships or making abuse the abused fault. I’ve heard that it has also been used to condone homosexuality. Anyway, the dictionary meaning is “mild of temper; not easily provoked or irritated; patient under injuries; not vain, or haughty, or resentful; forbearing; submissive, evincing mildness of temper, or patience; characterized by mildness or patience.”
In the Bible “meek” means to be gentle, humble or considerate. It is the opposite of arrogance and violence. Those who are willing to share and sacrifice in behalf of others are meek. Those who seek for domination and will use any means to trample and crush others are the opposite of what the Lord refers to here. Meekness does not mean weakness! It does not mean one must cower or retreat from God’s principles. It does not involve the
surrender of ones rights. Meek men and women of the Bible showed firm resolve, courage, conviction and strength. It does not mean to be a door mat. So, I don’t think that that verse really fits here.
While I do believe that it does make people question your value, I do not think that it does so all of the time. In my case, I would ask questions and clarify before agreeing with the person thinking I was actually making a decision and it was only later that I would realize that I was people pleasing. Most, never caught on.
I think it is good to be “selfish” sometimes, but I consider it setting good boundaries and having integrity to your own values and principles.
Sorry, I didn’t mean to dispute you, but merely to clarify how I would look at your statement for my own life.
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My Hubby has the secret to success and it works well
The Secret of Success is SINCERITY
Once you can fake that you have got it made….
you cant please all the people all the time…
you need to make the people close to your priority…
family, friends, thats all…. I really dont care what the bird up the street thinks of me, because in 5 years time it really wont matter…
being selfish at times is fine, but not at expense of those who matter most to you……
you can have success in ways that arent what you immediately dont think off and it isnt always financially..
One to remember and thanks for sharing AC,
Sincerely yours
etc .
My secret is too never give up….be flexible and to know, know, know there is a bigger picture in the pursuit of any type of success