Sent a message on that second rate social network, that facebook thing.

Many happy returns Bo.

I hope that Worked….

Its Cockney Rhyming Slang it is! My Elts just brill at it like and I reckon he’s goin to land that role in England’s top soap opera, Eastenders he is! Anyways see, I gots one ov me posh mates to translate it likes for youz.

See ya!

David

Translation:

Well I say Governor. Listen right, I was setting off to the East End of London wearing my new suit, when I noticed I had forgotten my toupee. “Have a look at this, David,” I said to my wife, as I pointed to my head.

“You must be joking Elton, not to mention being insane stepping oustide like that!” I knew I had to rectify the situation and quickly, so I said, “This is nothing to worry your pretty little head about David, only I am very hungry and have not had the chance to check the mirror to see how handsome I am on account of the fact that I have been working hard all day long.”

Well I realised this would make him feel rather guilty and I didn’t want that, so I said, “Why don’t we go and have curry for dinner and a few pints of Stella Artois Lager at that splendid Pakistani restaurant we frequent. And then afterwards perhaps we could spend the rest of the night disco dancing. And if you are concerned about having a late night and getting up for work in the morning, why don’t you just tell them you are sick?”

Well David loved the sound of that, and off we went.

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OH Happy Birthday Internet

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“Gerrout ov it Elt, your Saddam Hussein, goin outs likes that!” I ads to fink quick, so I says, “Dontchoo worries your pretty little uncle, Davy Boy, I’m Hank Marvin I am, an I ain’t got no time to check I’m Marilyn, I’ve been Kathy Burkin all day I av!”

Knew that’d make im feel a bit Dot Cotton, bat I wanted to cheers im ap, so I says, ”Let’s av a Ruby an a few Nelsons down the old Joe Daki’s, an then alligators weze can do a bit of San Francisco Jack Palancin! An listen boy, if youz can’t be bothered to go to Captain Kirk in shame an sorrow, then just pull a Metal Mickey!”

Well he pushes an shoves that does my David, so off we went!

Ooooh I jus loves me Eastenders I does! An I’m auditionin for a part in it next week I am, an I reckon I’m goin to get it see! Its for a tall, ansome, aristocratic gentleman, who is very very attractive, but really is a bit of a cad see. I won’t even aff to act, I’m a natural!!!

Proper excited I am!

15 years time - thought controlled browsing, data transmitted directly in to the brain via a tiny earpiece or displayed visually on glasses, advertising bilboards that scan your ’signature’ (llike a email address) and adjust accordingly, music and film free to watch or listen to whenever and apple ruling the pc world. Oh and a larger GSTF’s community.

Any odd ones out - i don’t think so as fiction and fact continue to collide at so fast a pace…. unless the ‘badun’s’ blow us all up first that is.

Oh and everyone wil have a photo jigsaw puzzle supplied by us. Knew i’d left something out.

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